but turns out i know your old man. i mean, i didn’t know who he was when i talked to you, but i met him during that week everyone was going crazy, and when i talked to him after, well, he said he had a kid here and i asked who it was, and, yeah.
he really cares about you, though. i mean i know you know that, just, not always the case with dads, is it? and i'm glad you have a good one
i dont care at all if my dad wants to be intimate with someone or get married one day or whatever! he deserves to be happy, and to have someone to take care of him when i go off on my own. but this whole... secrecy and hiding who they are is... not a great look OR a great sign. then to keep it up when i figured it all out, and gaslighting me, as you call it?
of course im not going to like the guy even MORE and think hes up to no good. my old man used to lie to me about junk back home and i thought, with us being here now... we've moved past the whole lying shtick and keeping things from each other. so for him to... fall back into that, and hes doing it because richard is probably MAKING him do it? it. it hurts.
if they wanted to keep everything SOOOOO hush-hushed, they could have told me and just tell me to keep it quiet until they were ready to tell other people or whatever and i would have!
but this whole thing went sooooooo off the rails that now i dont CARE to keep my mouth shut about them. theyve BOTH hurt me, and i shouldnt have to sit here by myself and not be able to tell ANYBODY how im feeling.
i cant talk to my dad about it, its like a broken record with that man. i cant talk to my sister, i cant talk to my brother, or any of my friends. i can only talk to u and THATS because ure not a moron and u shoved all the puzzle pieces together the same way i did.
... you're not wrong. i mean, at least when they knew that you know, well — they should've just owned up to it then. lying's not great any day, anyway, but you care about your dad, and he cares about you, so it sucks that he wasn't honest with you about this, whatever the reason.
but for what it's worth, you know you can talk to me anytime, about anything, yeah? this included. and i'm gonna keep this between us, but you ever want me to talk to either of them for you, and i will, yeah? just tell me to do it.
... and you're right. neither of them told me, but it wasn't hard to piece together the whole thing.
UUUGHGHHHHHHHHHHH, MAN does it feel good to FINALLY get it out of my chest! i couldnt decide if i was going to explode OR implode with this whole thing. and i thought i had the insane love life.
i just dont see the big deal. who gives a flying crap if someone is dating whoever? arent we all kind of strangers to each other in a way? not everyone is from the same realm and junk. unless ure public enemy #1, ure pretty much an average joe, and i dont think either of them have someone who wants them so dead that they can not be together.
well. i mean. some people dont like my dad, but hes still breathing, the last time ive checked. and someone already killed him here. so. been there, done that.
and u know, im trying to cut my dad some slack because i dont think he had a lot of experience in the love department. not that i know of. but richard? whats his excuse in failing this so hard?
take it from me? this just goes to show richard is waaaaay too young and immature for my dad. he needs someone who knows how to...u know. date. but what can u do, huh? kids will do whatever they want to do. my chompers, especially. i tell them to not do something, and they'll just do the opposite.
holding all that in, well. can't have felt great. and i'm sorry to hear that about your dad — i don't know him super well but i like him.
as for richard, well, not my thing to talk about, but... i know a little about the time he comes from. we're from the same world, same country, even. he's just centuries in the past for me. and i can't tell if it's something else, but back then, two blokes being together? meant death, and eternal damnation for your soul, and whatnot. dunno if he believes in that, but i reckon he might. and we know that's stupid but when you've grown up believing that then it's not that easy to just shed all of that.
but i guess in the end... if your dad's happy with him, then that's what counts, innit? they still owe you an apology or ten, but after that... you don't have to like richard, but if he makes your dad happy, isn't that at least a good thing?
[there's some dead air between their messages, could possibly mean she got tied up with something, or maybe she is really taking in the words she is reading. but she doesn't keep charles waiting for too long, as she types:]
yep. thats what counts. if hes happy with him, who am i to get in between them? he must be reaaally knocking his socks off if hes fine with him gutting my leg, then keep going like its no big deal.
before i know it, theyll get married and move in, and ill get kicked out like some unwanted cat. punted RIGHT in the street. maybe i should go ahead and get a head start, find a new place to shove off to.
is he fine with that, though? did he say as much? can't imagine he'd be happy with richard hurting you, no matter the circumstances.
and you're not an unwanted cat, jinx. i don't believe that for a second. not to your dad, not to me, not to anyone else either. you matter, okay? you do.
just cause your dad might love someone else doesn't mean he loves you any less. it's not like... there's not a finite amount of love to give, yeah? like- well, your dad, he said he's not your sister's dad. so you love both of them, right? it's not one or the other. it's not like your heart can only fit one of them and the other's not wanted.
he didnt get angry or even ASK who stabbed me. just told me to stay off my leg for a while, and thats it. like i scrapped my knee or something.
and family love is different. this is *love* love. the kind of love where people change who they are completely JUST to please their so called "soul mate" because theyre pulling the strings. and i know because my sister chose his ugly girlfriend over me.
when i got here and the inn was way too full to crash in, my sister chose her girlfriend to stay with her while *i* slept out on the streets for a whole month. and i did mention she ALSO had a look alike rooming with her too?
another girl who was my age, long blue hair, and in pigtails. she went had herself a new little sister, because i was too much of a screwed up mess. she replaced me way more than i can count and *thats* what love-love does to u.
we're... better now, but vi is still hooked on her, and i... still don't trust my sister 100% percent. not with that enforcer still tied to her.
and its going to happen with my old man, too. i can already see silco changing. its small, but its there. and its going to keep growing, and theres nothing i can do to stop it.
but this time, im going to bail first before he ditches me. no one is going to hurt or leave me anymore.
[ shit, charles says, out loud, at that. shit, he says again, when jinx continues to talk about her sister — and he doesn't doubt there's more to the story, that the narrative he is getting is not necessarily entirely reliable... and yet, he understands her pain. ]
i can't say i get it entirely, cause i'm not in this situation and you are... but no matter what anyone says, you've got the right to be sad about this. or angry, or whatever else you're feeling.
and if you think the right thing for you is to leave first, then it is.
i can't promise anything for any of them... but i can promise i'm not gonna hurt you, jinx. or leave you. i know it's not the same, i'm not your family, but-
for what it's worth, you matter to me. a lot. and i'm gonna support you, whether you wanna leave and get your own place, or punch your dad or your sister in the face, or go and throw some grenades at some trees, or whatever.
why? because i like you. because you cared when you didn't have to. because it wasn't anyone, was it? it was you.
and you shelter cats, and wanted to make the mom cat feel comfortable, and you're fun to hang out with, and you've been hurt by both your sister and your dad and you still love them both more than anything.
just cause you can't see your good sides doesn't mean they're not there, jinx. and i'm your friend and i care about you, whether you get the why or not.
[well, if the pause felt too long before, this particular time might have felt like hours had went by (in her prospective). and she isn't too sure what to really say to charles' message, either. sure, he isn't the first who had said something like this to her, and he will definitely not be the last.
but these are words jinx still, even being here for a year, are not used to hearing or reading. sometimes she wonders if she ever will. she knows her father loves her, he proven that for years, and with vi, their sisterhood had been steadily repairing all thanks to this place. there's love ekko had expressed for her, too — something she is missing every day.
but like with everything else, things do come into an end. love can wither and die like roses, or people can lose interest on their once beloved hobbies and even people. this is.... no expection, right?]
[ it does feel longer for him, too, this pause — but it's fine. she can take all the time she wants.
and in the end, his initial answer doesn't come as a text; it comes as audio, his delighted, fond laughter filtering into her device, almost like he's meant to try and type a response and has dissolved into giggles and pressed send for the audio by accident. ]
good. im glad u found someone who u can belong to.
[it's a bittersweet comment. she is happy for him, really, and although she wishes her sister and her father would find better people to belong to... if they feel they are the one, then. well. all she can do is try to accept it. maybe. possibly.
if only her other half was still around. but she knows ekko is the leader of his firelights, and they need him. possibly way more than she needs him. jinx is strong enough to stand on her two feet without the light of her life, but... that doesn't make it easy.]
[ and perhaps it is the honesty she affords him, here, that makes him ask, ] you wanna talk about yours? i mean, i get it if you don't want to, but. if you do, i'm happy to listen, yeah?
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but turns out i know your old man. i mean, i didn’t know who he was when i talked to you, but i met him during that week everyone was going crazy, and when i talked to him after, well, he said he had a kid here and i asked who it was, and, yeah.
he really cares about you, though. i mean i know you know that, just, not always the case with dads, is it? and i'm glad you have a good one
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must not give you much goodwill towards richard either, if they're both keeping stuff from you.
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i dont care at all if my dad wants to be intimate with someone or get married one day or whatever! he deserves to be happy, and to have someone to take care of him when i go off on my own. but this whole... secrecy and hiding who they are is... not a great look OR a great sign. then to keep it up when i figured it all out, and gaslighting me, as you call it?
of course im not going to like the guy even MORE and think hes up to no good. my old man used to lie to me about junk back home and i thought, with us being here now... we've moved past the whole lying shtick and keeping things from each other. so for him to... fall back into that, and hes doing it because richard is probably MAKING him do it? it. it hurts.
if they wanted to keep everything SOOOOO hush-hushed, they could have told me and just tell me to keep it quiet until they were ready to tell other people or whatever and i would have!
but this whole thing went sooooooo off the rails that now i dont CARE to keep my mouth shut about them. theyve BOTH hurt me, and i shouldnt have to sit here by myself and not be able to tell ANYBODY how im feeling.
i cant talk to my dad about it, its like a broken record with that man. i cant talk to my sister, i cant talk to my brother, or any of my friends. i can only talk to u and THATS because ure not a moron and u shoved all the puzzle pieces together the same way i did.
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but for what it's worth, you know you can talk to me anytime, about anything, yeah? this included. and i'm gonna keep this between us, but you ever want me to talk to either of them for you, and i will, yeah? just tell me to do it.
... and you're right. neither of them told me, but it wasn't hard to piece together the whole thing.
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UUUGHGHHHHHHHHHHH, MAN does it feel good to FINALLY get it out of my chest! i couldnt decide if i was going to explode OR implode with this whole thing. and i thought i had the insane love life.
i just dont see the big deal. who gives a flying crap if someone is dating whoever? arent we all kind of strangers to each other in a way? not everyone is from the same realm and junk. unless ure public enemy #1, ure pretty much an average joe, and i dont think either of them have someone who wants them so dead that they can not be together.
well. i mean. some people dont like my dad, but hes still breathing, the last time ive checked. and someone already killed him here. so. been there, done that.
and u know, im trying to cut my dad some slack because i dont think he had a lot of experience in the love department. not that i know of. but richard? whats his excuse in failing this so hard?
take it from me? this just goes to show richard is waaaaay too young and immature for my dad. he needs someone who knows how to...u know. date. but what can u do, huh? kids will do whatever they want to do. my chompers, especially. i tell them to not do something, and they'll just do the opposite.
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holding all that in, well. can't have felt great. and i'm sorry to hear that about your dad — i don't know him super well but i like him.
as for richard, well, not my thing to talk about, but... i know a little about the time he comes from. we're from the same world, same country, even. he's just centuries in the past for me. and i can't tell if it's something else, but back then, two blokes being together? meant death, and eternal damnation for your soul, and whatnot. dunno if he believes in that, but i reckon he might. and we know that's stupid but when you've grown up believing that then it's not that easy to just shed all of that.
but i guess in the end... if your dad's happy with him, then that's what counts, innit? they still owe you an apology or ten, but after that... you don't have to like richard, but if he makes your dad happy, isn't that at least a good thing?
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yep. thats what counts. if hes happy with him, who am i to get in between them? he must be reaaally knocking his socks off if hes fine with him gutting my leg, then keep going like its no big deal.
before i know it, theyll get married and move in, and ill get kicked out like some unwanted cat. punted RIGHT in the street. maybe i should go ahead and get a head start, find a new place to shove off to.
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and you're not an unwanted cat, jinx. i don't believe that for a second. not to your dad, not to me, not to anyone else either. you matter, okay? you do.
just cause your dad might love someone else doesn't mean he loves you any less. it's not like... there's not a finite amount of love to give, yeah? like- well, your dad, he said he's not your sister's dad. so you love both of them, right? it's not one or the other. it's not like your heart can only fit one of them and the other's not wanted.
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and family love is different. this is *love* love. the kind of love where people change who they are completely JUST to please their so called "soul mate" because theyre pulling the strings. and i know because my sister chose his ugly girlfriend over me.
when i got here and the inn was way too full to crash in, my sister chose her girlfriend to stay with her while *i* slept out on the streets for a whole month. and i did mention she ALSO had a look alike rooming with her too?
another girl who was my age, long blue hair, and in pigtails. she went had herself a new little sister, because i was too much of a screwed up mess. she replaced me way more than i can count and *thats* what love-love does to u.
we're... better now, but vi is still hooked on her, and i... still don't trust my sister 100% percent. not with that enforcer still tied to her.
and its going to happen with my old man, too. i can already see silco changing. its small, but its there. and its going to keep growing, and theres nothing i can do to stop it.
but this time, im going to bail first before he ditches me. no one is going to hurt or leave me anymore.
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i can't say i get it entirely, cause i'm not in this situation and you are... but no matter what anyone says, you've got the right to be sad about this. or angry, or whatever else you're feeling.
and if you think the right thing for you is to leave first, then it is.
i can't promise anything for any of them... but i can promise i'm not gonna hurt you, jinx. or leave you. i know it's not the same, i'm not your family, but-
for what it's worth, you matter to me. a lot. and i'm gonna support you, whether you wanna leave and get your own place, or punch your dad or your sister in the face, or go and throw some grenades at some trees, or whatever.
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why? i get ure part of my crew, but. all i did was sat there while u died. and after that, i *did* save ur ass, but anyone could have done that.
how am i mattering that much to u?
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and you shelter cats, and wanted to make the mom cat feel comfortable, and you're fun to hang out with, and you've been hurt by both your sister and your dad and you still love them both more than anything.
just cause you can't see your good sides doesn't mean they're not there, jinx. and i'm your friend and i care about you, whether you get the why or not.
1/2
but these are words jinx still, even being here for a year, are not used to hearing or reading. sometimes she wonders if she ever will. she knows her father loves her, he proven that for years, and with vi, their sisterhood had been steadily repairing all thanks to this place. there's love ekko had expressed for her, too — something she is missing every day.
but like with everything else, things do come into an end. love can wither and die like roses, or people can lose interest on their once beloved hobbies and even people. this is.... no expection, right?]
2/2
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and in the end, his initial answer doesn't come as a text; it comes as audio, his delighted, fond laughter filtering into her device, almost like he's meant to try and type a response and has dissolved into giggles and pressed send for the audio by accident. ]
sorry, sorry
i know you hate mushy stuff
send me the cleaning fee
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uh
well, i already owe you 7 coins for mushy stuff, i'm not sure i wanna owe you more
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you did ask
but i'll condense it for your sake. so
it's perfect, thanks for asking. he's perfect
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[it's a bittersweet comment. she is happy for him, really, and although she wishes her sister and her father would find better people to belong to... if they feel they are the one, then. well. all she can do is try to accept it. maybe. possibly.
if only her other half was still around. but she knows ekko is the leader of his firelights, and they need him. possibly way more than she needs him. jinx is strong enough to stand on her two feet without the light of her life, but... that doesn't make it easy.]
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[ and perhaps it is the honesty she affords him, here, that makes him ask, ] you wanna talk about yours? i mean, i get it if you don't want to, but. if you do, i'm happy to listen, yeah?
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cw: talk of death and dying ):
jinx :c
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🎀?